NJ Trail Series Race #4 – Watchung 5th June 2011
Sadly, the bullshit you are about to read will be my last race report for the MPF Trail Running Team. I recently announced to the team that I will be leaving the US for a new life in China. Unfortunately my request for continued Honorary team membership was denied and so I will no longer be a proud member of this diverse, interesting, talented and most importantly, fun group of people.
With my move to China I have to get rid of many of my worldly belongings. I will be moving to a much smaller property so out goes much of the furniture. China works on a proper voltage, so out goes all my electricals. Importation or pornography is rather embarrassing, so out goes my stash of porn.
I have to sell a massive amount of stuff and so the Saturday before the race was spent inviting around friends and trying to sell them my possessions (not the porn – I’m keeping hold of that till the last minute).
My cunning plan was to have a beer with each visitor, get them drunk and then negotiate a good price for whatever I wanted to sell. This plan was obviously flawed. By the sixth visitor I was rather plastered and essentially giving stuff away. At about 6pm I was glad to receive a call from RD who asked my help marking the course for the following days race.
So Saturday evening I spent a couple of hours in twilight throwing white flour on the ground. The evening was rather uneventful until I got to the south side of Watchung. I descended the hill towards the river bed and heard a loud rustle to my left. Looking up, expecting to see a deer I got the shock of my life. A bloody great big Grizzly bear on hind paws staring at me with evil intent. Actually it was black bear cub about 2ft tall on all fours.
It turned and ran. I turned and ran.
I know bear sightings in other parts are common but this is first time I’ve ever seen one. And in Watchung for goodness sake! Watchung is like trail for the gentry. We don’t have bears. We have manicured trails and a Starbucks at every intersection. Bears are just…..wild. They belong in wild places.
I finally arrived home and had a few more drinks to calm the nerves.
Onto the race.
This is always I very minor portion of my reports.
I arrived just about 8:30am with a gruesome headache. I had coffee, a 5hr energy and 2 Tylenol in an attempt to remedy the effects of the previous day’s alcoholic over indulgence.
Several friends were running the 10mile race. Amongst them were Len and Phil. I knew these two were very close in (high) ability and I used my caffeine high to goad them into a fight. Neither was reacting to my taunts and both played down their chance of winning. Read Phils Report on the MPF website!!
At 9 30 we set off. I tried to keep up with these two guys and managed to do so for a great number of seconds. A pack of three went off ahead, and were never seen again.
Another group of 3 moved past me. I struggled to keep moving for the first 40mins and I lost sight of them. However almost instantaneously on 40mins my “hangover” disappeared I got my second wind. For some reason it always takes me this long to really warm up. After this time I really felt good.
I made up time on the 6th place guy but never quite caught him.
Due to some marking vandalism (maybe by bears) I missed a turn near the end. It didn’t cost me more than a minute or so and certainly no placing. But my final time was 1hr 30 mins 23 secs. Damn that missed turn! Damn that last beer.
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